Arc of a Diver

Overcame my fear of diving (into water / a pool) this weekend. Well, not really "fear", per se, but more an extreme, subconcious, ingrained reluctance to launching myself head-first and un-braced for impact at anything. I actually used to dive really well, back when I first learned to swim, about a decade and a half ago, and was completely unafraid to smoothly arc off the diving board or the side of the pool. I couldn't actually *swim* very well, but I sure could dive!

Then, somewhere along the way, I learned the proper way to coordinate my anatomy when the object of impact was not water that would slide neatly out of the way (assuming, of course, that you assume an appropriately streamlined form, and don't try broad-siding the water, thinking that it's "soft". That, of course, is the mistaken assumption that belly-flop victims rapidly discard.), but unyielding, solid ground. "Tuck and roll" became my mantra, and it saved my bacon in numerous incidents involving bicyles, snowboards and the like.

Swimming somehow got abandoned along that particular way. There were a few sporadic attempts to re-aquaint myself with that marine mode of locomotion, but it never really got off the ground, so to speak. Forget about getting off a diving board. I became too aware of my lack of ability to swim well and/or stay afloat for any respectable period of time to trust myself in the deep end of any pool. Son of a sailor that I am, that became one of my most acute (`acutest'?) sources of shame. (... Lack of fluency in Hindi being a significant other.)

But my cousins have a pool in their backyard, and this summer I made use of it to the fullest, to develop my ability to manoeuvre capably in an aquatic environment... Basically, to expand my comfort zone to include that environment. And I was fairly successful... Except for the diving bit. I simply could not bring myself to, like I said before, launch myself at something head-first, arms and body locked into full extension, simply *asking* for skeletal-compression trauma. It was so... wrong! Every time I'd try diving, my body would instinctively brace for a colllison --- joints loose and ready to flex and absorb the energy of the impact, muscles relaxed, torso curved and twisted to transfer the blow over the shouder and back, head, elbows and knees tucked in to protect the face and internal organs... you know the drill. It wasn't *fear*, because I *knew* there was nothing to fear... there were no sharp rocks hiding just below the surface of the water, waiting to punish me for my stupidity. It was just a natural, instinctive reflex neural pathway that I needed to break. Mind over matter, and all that jazz.

And this weekend I did it. No more hesitation, no more needing to command myself sternly to disobey my instincts, because now it finally feels right. Hurrah!